Isotopes

Tune: "I Stole the Prince" (Or, "The Highly Respectable Gondolier") - The Gondoliers, Gilbert & Sullivan

As sung at the Cavendish Dinner, Feb. 24th, 1923.

1. Since J.J. on the game began
By analysing Neon,
Many a speculative man
Had isotopic thoughts which ran
Beyond a paper's rightful span,
So this did all agree on -
It needs a man both strong and stout
These isotopes to sever;
Of this there is no possible doubt,
No probable, possible shadow of doubt,
No possible doubt whatever.

2. So Aston made a cute "machine"
For atom separations.
The atoms passed through fields serene,
Magnetic poles they went between,
And made some marks upon a screen,
Apart from their relations.
The numbers whole were soon made out
By methods neat and clever;
Of this there was no manner of doubt,
No probable, possible shadow of doubt,
No possible doubt whatever.

3. Then isotopes of every kind
Grew more in number daily,
And Aston thrust all he could find
Before the harassed and reeling mind
Of a sympathetic but dazed mankind
Most casually and gaily.
The rule of numbers whole to flout
He made his next endeavour;
Of this there's now no manner of doubt,
No probable, possible shadow of doubt,
No possible doubt whatever.

4. Now Christmas time was drawing near,
And as Nobel Prize winner,
For Stockholm soon he had to clear,
(Then he followed the trade of a mountaineer),
And now we're all glad we've got him here
To cheer him at our Dinner.
"He's a jolly good fellow!" Then let us shout
In louder tones than ever -
Of this there is no possible doubt,
No probable, possible shadow of doubt,
No possible doubt whatever.

E.C.S.

The Postprandial Proceedings of the Cavendish Society, pp. 32-33.